1. 19:00 22nd Jul 2014

    Notes: 193372

    Reblogged from nadiaraleigh12

    furihata-is-better-than-akashi:

    farting-ghosts:

    A compilation of Tumblr’s hilarious posts to lighten up your day. ENJOY!

    I TOTALY ENJOYED IT, CHOCOLATE

     
  2. 18:57

    Notes: 176670

    Reblogged from nadiaraleigh12

    snk-potato-girl:

    capitolpurebloodwithatardis221b:

    idiotbh:

    Amsterdam? more like Amsterdamn

    image

    He’s like a cross between Zac Efron and Jensen Ackles 

    I don’t know how but
    I can see it
     
  3. 18:56

    Notes: 128770

    Reblogged from nadiaraleigh12

    image: Download

    crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

    crusherccme:

    found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

     
  4. 18:55

    Notes: 97068

    Reblogged from mishamigoes

    moistflow:

    teacher: alright, since no one is raising their hands i’m gonna pick people

    me:image

    (Source: moistflow)

     
  5. 17:11

    Notes: 308

    Reblogged from cat-senpai

    battybatty:

    Aries - you remind me of walking through a field of tall grass when the summer sun sets. i am allergic to grass and a lot of bugs are out and biting my legs and i hate this.
    Taurus - you are a piping hot cup of coffee. you burn my tongue and i am sensitive to caffeine. you…

     
  6. 17:07

    Notes: 23406

    Reblogged from thatonegirlsammi

    image: Download

    dekutree-official:

twirlingtroye:

sneak peak at Iggy Azalea’s new video

how dare you compare teen pop sensation britney britney to her you uncultured swine

    dekutree-official:

    twirlingtroye:

    sneak peak at Iggy Azalea’s new video

    how dare you compare teen pop sensation britney britney to her you uncultured swine

     
  7. 17:06

    Notes: 37787

    Reblogged from butlookatthenexus

    Actual book canon.

    (Source: brienneoftarth)

     
  8. 17:06

    Notes: 10329

    Reblogged from aquaticintrepid

    captainbisexual:

    it doesn’t matter how many “pretend to be dating” fics i read, i’m always fucking in it headfirst every time and i fall for that shit every time. i know the pattern i know the plot twists i know what’s gonna happen but every single fucking time i’m fucking on the edge of…

     
  9. 17:02

    Notes: 46660

    Reblogged from waapfu

    eridantherudefish:

gatewayslugs:

woof woof wats for lunch lol


are you sure that dogs name isnt sirius?

    eridantherudefish:

    gatewayslugs:

    woof woof wats for lunch lol

    are you sure that dogs name isnt sirius?

     
  10. 17:01

    Notes: 297811

    Reblogged from shannonisinwonderland

     
  11. 17:00

    Notes: 151863

    Reblogged from ruinedchildhood

    hazardgirl:

    I like how he is wildly pregnant

    yet takes a pregnancy test

    and is surprised by the results

    then he hugs a flower

    well ok

    (Source: muskequeer)

     
  12. 21:21 21st Jul 2014

    Notes: 1432

    Reblogged from actualqueenclarkegriffin

    mrgolightly:

This is it, y’all. I am ascending. I’m leaving my body and floating into the heavens. Tell my family I love them and to DVR the new season of American Horror Story for me.

    mrgolightly:

    This is it, y’all. I am ascending. I’m leaving my body and floating into the heavens. Tell my family I love them and to DVR the new season of American Horror Story for me.

     
  13. 21:20

    Notes: 7563

    Reblogged from officialunitedstates

    officialunitedstates:

My sister Jenny had finally turned 22 and her birthday gift was rain. 
"Cover your eyes," I said after I showed up unexpectedly at her apartment.  "I have a surprise for you."
After a bit of convincing she went along with it, and I led her down five flights of stairs to the lobby. 
She asked if we could have just taken the elevator.
"You’re not supposed to use the elevator when it’s raining.  I read that once.  I also like how they’re called flights.  Where’s the plane?  Haha."  She didn’t laugh at my joke.  I told her she could open her eyes now and she did. 
"What? Where’s this surprise?" she asked.
"I know how much you like rain.  It’s your birthday and it is raining.  Happy birthday, sis."
She looked out into the bustling, wet street and then gave me a sour look.  I gave her a sweet look.  She walked away.  I walked a way. 
"Look, Jenny, to be honest, I would have bought you a present but my wallet is empty," I said as I reached into my back pocket and showed her my empty wallet.  I had emptied it out the night before but she didn’t need to know that.  I even took out my library card.  That’s not even currency.  I definitely could have left that in there and she still would have thought I was broke.
She looked at the floor, letting her curly blond hair become unfurled, grinned, and then looked back up at me.  “It’s okay, I like your present.  At the very least it shows that you care about me.” 
And that’s how I got away with giving my sister rain for her 22nd birthday so I could buy sixteen globes the next day and smash them all with a baseball bat in the middle of times square.

    officialunitedstates:

    My sister Jenny had finally turned 22 and her birthday gift was rain. 

    "Cover your eyes," I said after I showed up unexpectedly at her apartment.  "I have a surprise for you."

    After a bit of convincing she went along with it, and I led her down five flights of stairs to the lobby. 

    She asked if we could have just taken the elevator.

    "You’re not supposed to use the elevator when it’s raining.  I read that once.  I also like how they’re called flights.  Where’s the plane?  Haha."  She didn’t laugh at my joke.  I told her she could open her eyes now and she did. 

    "What? Where’s this surprise?" she asked.

    "I know how much you like rain.  It’s your birthday and it is raining.  Happy birthday, sis."

    She looked out into the bustling, wet street and then gave me a sour look.  I gave her a sweet look.  She walked away.  I walked a way. 

    "Look, Jenny, to be honest, I would have bought you a present but my wallet is empty," I said as I reached into my back pocket and showed her my empty wallet.  I had emptied it out the night before but she didn’t need to know that.  I even took out my library card.  That’s not even currency.  I definitely could have left that in there and she still would have thought I was broke.

    She looked at the floor, letting her curly blond hair become unfurled, grinned, and then looked back up at me.  “It’s okay, I like your present.  At the very least it shows that you care about me.” 

    And that’s how I got away with giving my sister rain for her 22nd birthday so I could buy sixteen globes the next day and smash them all with a baseball bat in the middle of times square.

     
  14. 21:18

    Notes: 234875

    Reblogged from fight-the-dead-fear-the-assbutt

    sherrocked:

    My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other

    (Source: amovible)

     
  15. 21:17

    Notes: 3586

    Reblogged from carry-on-my-wayward-butt

    amroyounes:

    The Most Creative Business Cards Ever.

    1. Toy Chair Business Card
    2. Miniature Plumber’s Plunger With Contact Information
    3. Seed Packet Business Card
    4. Bike Multi-Tool Business Card
    5. Classic Rock Theme Business Card: This groovy hair salon comb plays a classic rock theme when rubbed by fingernail, using the same principle as a musicbox comb. 
    6. Transformable Cargo Box Business Card